today was a day of conflict. not in terms of physical conflict (unless you're talking about colossuem). it was a day of mental conflict, bagged with emotions, tears and tissue. i really didn't expect the day to turn out like this, especaially when everything came at a go, so sudden, so abrupt, so shocking.

it all started out when our goeog tutorial ended, and mrs chua wanted to make an announcement. we innocently thought she was going to comment on our mid year content. in her usual, gentle voice, she deadpanned,"i'm not going to teach you all anymore".

sarene and i stared at each other with a look of disbelief written on her face. that sentence resonated around the usual quiet geog room. that thought zapped through my brain left right right left. did my pair of ears just failed me?

no, i wasn't living in delusion, i wasn't wading in a river of oblivion. we were sunk into immediate depression - and it meant REALITY. so mrs chua's not going to be our CT anymore, because she's going to DHS to teach. i felt like i was pushed down a cliff, then being bounced back to reality, with scars all over my body. with a broken ankle. sarene was crying, i was crying, jaime and OYC was on the verge of tears. blue funk.

why would i even have been so downcast by this piece of news? it wouldn't have been so bad if it was like oh, if that came out from mr gua's mouth.(though i would be a little sad coz we won't be able to bully him) that sense of attachment to mrs chua was rigid, was tenacious. she was a convincing lady, influential in making us feel that we were really essential and important to her. she never judged us by our academic results, she was never a pendantic-oriented teacher unlike some others who look down on you just because you produced mediocre grades. she never did entice us with any goodies like chocolates for us to do well in tests, but that human touch - that distinct respect she had for everyone of us. that's why she garnered so much respect from every student in 501. her greatest attribute would be that she's kind, she gave us zealous love, and she bothered to know how u felt about eveything.

she was a part of our lives in school, and seeing her cheerful smile in the morning was one of those things she made me look forward to in MJ.

i felt like it was history slamming back into my face, a piece of news God wanted me to swallow without even gracing me with time to chew it and mix it with my saliva and let it slide down my oesophagus and let it settle happily and comfortably in my tummy. i had to accept it that hastily, still feeling absurd about what was given to me. it was a flim, a flim with its content fast fowarding in the opposite direction. when dorea left MJ for TJ, it was such a "fast fact" that i had to accept, and now THIS. i'm not disgruntled with God or at anyone or for everything that's happening, but it's the momenteum that's freaky.

OK. at least we once had her in our lives, and we shouln't be too greedy. stop being emo, can?

colossuem was fun, sarene yanying and i had fun walking round the school and we cheered madly for the she-man, the race horse like jonathan and OYC whose great sportsmanship got him a medal for dance. YAY! =] perkafe was busy today. and we earnt money. congrats to huiqi - MARKETING DIRECTOR! HAYDEN - OP MANAGER!

choir concert and soccer finals tmr. =]

a penny for my thoughts?